Learning to Listen

About 2 months ago when I got into this training program I figured that the toughest part of this training program would be all the running we would be doing. Tonight I learned that that earlier assumption was wrong. Our workout scheduled for today was 1.5 mile repeats with a 60 second break in between and I knew that that might be tough on me considering I had strained my groin on my long run Sunday but it had been 2 days and it was feeling better. I took off on my 10 minute warm up run to loosen up and get ready for the speed work on the track. Upon returning I lined up on the track with my team and took off on the first off the repeats. The first 2 laps were not fun as my warm up had not really caused me to push it but I worked through it and was able to finish rather strong. After my minute rest period I took off on the second of the repeats and on the second lap I was pulled from the track as the muscle strain was really starting to act up. Guess during the rest period it started to tighten up and I just couldn't get it loose again like I did the first time. Coach Bob had me walk opposite laps around the track rather than to continue and possibly do more harm to myself.

 

It was during those laps around the track while encouraging my teammates and trying to keep things loose that I learned that the toughest part of this training program (at least for me) is not being able to run when you want to. In the past I would probably have kept going as I didn't know better. I used to think that not doing or finishing something was unacceptable even if it took me longer than it should have. Tonight though I listened to Bob and while it was tearing me up inside to not finish my workout I knew deep down inside it was the right thing. Besides teaching me to be a better runner and reach places I didn't think were possible, Bob and Ruthie have also taught me that you really need to listen to your body. Listening to my body has taught me to hear that beat inside of me that Ruthie swore was there but until recently I was unable to hear. It has also taught me to recognize when I needed to push the pace and realize I had it in me to do so. I guess now it has also taught me that sometimes you just need to dial it back and live to fight another day.

 

Because of my good fortune to be working with Bob and Ruthie I have learned to not just hear what I need to do but to listen to my body (and my coaches) and recognize what it is telling me as well. 

A Long and Interesting Week

Of all the things I am doing as part of the CVE\lululemon race team I am finding that one of the hardest things for me is keeping up with the social media part of things. I mean I share some stuff via Facebook but I really don't take advantage of the other tools I created to help document my experience. When all this started I created a Twitter account as well as this blog but when I look back at them I find I haven't used them as I hoped. I guess I could say that it is all new to me but that is just an excuse. I mean this training program is all new to me but outside of a week recently where I was forced to miss I have yet to miss a training and actually find myself eagerly awaiting the updates to my Training Peaks schedule. Yet it appears I can't find a moment or two once a week to share a little information about this wonderful journey I am so lucky to be a part of. That needs to change and I am hoping it changes with this blog as I need to really let everyone see what this experience has meant to me.

As I mentioned above I was recently sidelined for a week. I had been having some difficulties catching my wind following a cold a few weeks back and thought I might still have some lingering effects and decided to go see the doctor. Long story short she did some tests, took some blood and x-rays, as well as an EKG. That EKG is where things got interesting, apparently I had one 2 years ago when I had walking pneumonia and the one from this visit looked remarkably different. She told me my resting heart rate pretty low which could be accounted for by all the running/training I had been doing but it appears my T-Waves were inverted and as such such she wanted me to stop my training and see a cardiologist. Needless to say I wasn't happy about this for a variety of reasons, I mean no one wants to hear they have to go see a cardiologist but I think I was more upset about missing my training and working with my teammates. So I scheduled my visit and after talking with the doc and her looking at all the tests she decided that I needed to have a nuclear stress test and an echocardiogram which I scheduled over the next couple of days.

The nuclear stress test was actually pretty neat other than having to get stuck and getting an IV setup. After the IV was setup and I was injected with the dye or whatever I had to wait awhile before being placed on a table where I had to remain still as this machine took pictures of my heart and such for 15 minutes (ended up a little longer as the tech bumped the machine and we had to start over). After that it was off to the treadmill where the goal was to get me to 85% of my max heart rate (220-your age) by having me walk/run on it and then every 3 minutes the incline and speed would increase. For a while the tech and the doc wondered aloud if I would actually reach my max before the program reset (it is a 21 minute program) which made me feel somewhat good about things but about the 17 minute mark I reached the goal and was injected with my second dose of the dye. After a brief rest period during which I was told my T Waves were doing odd things once again it was back to the table for another 15 minutes of pictures. The next day I was back bright and early for my echocardiogram. Basically this is just an ultrasound of the heart which was pretty cool to see but I had no idea if what I was seeing was good or bad and this tech wasn't giving any indication one way or the other. Needless to say I left there happy that I had all the tests behind me but anxious to hear the results. I had been telling everyone everything would be fine but I knew me saying it wasn't what my wife wanted to hear. She wanted the tests and the doctor to say it.

Finally after waiting what felt like forever I got the call from the doc saying that while my EKG's continued to be irregular both the stress test and the echocardiogram showed my heart to be functioning normally. Basically the only thing they saw was some pulmonary regurgitation in an area but she said that I had probably been living with that all my life that said she figured that for at least awhile I should have a yearly follow up. I asked her if that meant I could go back to training for my race and she informed me I was good to go which while I always thought I was going to be it also felt good to have it confirmed.

While all this was going on I told very few people as I didn't want to alarm anyone but I did tell my coaches and teammates as for the last couple of months they have been there for me rooting and cheering me and this time was no different. I think the first thing I did after getting the news from the doctor and relaying said info to my wife was to message the coaches and post on the team page to let all know I was cleared and would be training with them once again. This is a special group of people who I have been fortunate enough to meet, many of whom have made impressions on me that will last well after this training session has ended.

Now that all that is behind me it is time to get back at it o as Ruthie said "Game on!" 

Something Clicked

Sitting at lunch and realized that it had been forever since my last entry and it isn't like I haven't had anything to say, as I am sure my wife would attest to. Guess I am just not used to blogging and keeping up with it but I promise I will try to do better over the next few weeks as the half marathon gets closer.

 

This past month has brought me my share of ups and downs. I struggled with a cold that wouldn't go away and dealt with an Achilles that tried to tighten up and interfere with my training but I also had days where I accomplished things that when the coaches told me what they expected I was like "yeah right". One of those experiences came this past week like when we did mile repeats x 6 and I had to complete each at 7:19 as the coaches want us to work on consistency. I ran the first in 7:12 which as I was told was too quick so I took my required rest in between and began my second and came in at 7:21 which left me a little disappointed as I thought I hit it. As I started out on the third of 6 it finally happened for me, I heard the beat inside of me that Ruthie Burke has been telling me for weeks existed and I came in right on time not just on that mile but for every mile after that. Not sure how to explain this other than to say suddenly everything from my breathing to my strides seemed in sync, it was almost like I was on autopilot. Suddenly a workout I had been fearing since I first saw it posted in Training Peaks was now one of the highlights of my training. Combine that with the great 1':45" run I had on Riverside Drive (lots of rolling hills which I actually enjoyed) 2 days before that and I was on top of the world.

 

Even though I have been doing the work it wasn't until last week that something clicked and I finally felt/realized I was getting what the coaches wanted me to get out of this training. I mean I knew I was getting results as both my coaches and teammates had said things that indicated I was improving but I guess I didn't see it myself.

 

I still have many things to work on such as pushing myself harder when on individual runs and not drifting back into comfort zones but over these past few weeks I have learned that listening not only to my coaches but to my body will enable me to reach new heights never before imagined. I guess whoever said sometimes you have to step back to move forward knew what they were talking about.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Today was the first of our longer individual runs and I was coming off of what I considered to be one of my worst runs in a while so I didn't know what to really expect. I decided to change things up a bit and woke up a bit early, knocked back some water as my body/mind awoke, and decided to knock my run out first thing this morning. As I was drinking my water and getting ready I realized I had left my iPod at work so no music and no nice lady telling me how much time I had left on my run. I guess I was going to have to find the "beat" that Ruthie said inside of me but I still had no idea as to how I was going time my run. After a few minutes of thinking I decided I would run with my phone. Typically I don't like to run with anything in my hands but when you are handed lemons I figured I better make lemonade.

 

Anyway I headed out and from the start I knew that this was going to be a run I felt good about. The first mile I took it a little easier than normal as I still wasn't quite awake but soon after that I began to push it a little harder and I was pleased to see that my legs actually responded. By the end of the run I was feeling great and felt I could have gone on for another hour at least, I knew then that I needed to push it harder next time but I told myself that part of the reason I settled in at the pace I did might have had something to do with the new time, me picking a new route as I ran, and me constantly checking my phone to see how much time was left before I had to stop. Come Saturday I will run this route again and I will be even closer to the house when the buzzer goes off but before I get there I have speed work on the U of R track tomorrow.

 

A special thanks to my friends and teammates for the kind words and encouragement yesterday when I was bummed about my run. I took all of that with me as I headed out the door this morning and I am sure that helped to make today's run what it was.

Bad Days, Everyone has Them

I should have known something was up when I stepped outside and the weather was so unbelievably perfect for a run and I couldn't go because I had to get to work. That said I looked forward to my run at lunch as I had been feeling good and starting to push myself a little more on these last couple of solo runs. I started out and probably 10 minutes into a 40 minute run I realized that something just didn't feel right. I wasn't tired or winded but I just didn't have that other gear today. Mentally I tried to push myself to do a bit more but the body just wasn't having it. I assume that part of the reason for this was that I hadn't hydrated myself properly throughout the morning and with the added humidity and my body sweating out the moisture it had my muscles were not finding that little something extra. Knowing that, I did take the opportunity to try to focus on my form and keeping my head still as I figured if I couldn't push it I better work on something else I needed to.

I realize that every run may not produce that incredible endorphin rush where you just know you beasted that workout but today's feeling was way different. I realized I had first felt that feeling before as a player back in little league and I remembered what one of my coaches told me back then. He basically told me that everyone is going to have bad day's but it is what you take from those bad day's that will not only cause you to grow but it will motivate you to reach higher. He also told me not to dwell on the bad days as doing that can affect future performances.

Today's run is a thing of the past and tomorrow's is right around the corner and I must say I can't wait to get back out there. 

Reality Bites

I was so happy the day you came into my life, you ignited a fire in me that had gone dormant. I enjoyed our runs together, trusted you, and even considered you a friend and today I found out you have been lying to me. I guess deep down inside I had my suspicions but didn't want to believe it as I was enjoying our time together and liked what you had to say but no more. I guess I share some of the blame. I mean if I took the necessary steps this wouldn't have happened  right but still it hurts. Now that my eyes have been opened to the truth you will have to earn my trust back though. I will make sure that we get you the help you need so this doesn't happen again (or at least anytime soon) and we can get back out there and start rebuilding that trust.

 

As I read this I guess I should clarify that this morning I learned my Nike iPod has been telling me I have been running longer distances than I thought and as you can see it has deeply affected me.

Understanding Less Can be More

Yesterday was the day I had scheduled for my VO2 Max testing and while I think (or perhaps wish) I could have done better Coach Bob Flanigan said I did excellent. According to him my VO2 Max for my age group was in the superior/excellent range which after his explanation of everything made me (and the competitive beast inside of me) feel better. 

I did somehow manage to tweak or aggravate my ankle towards the end of the testing as I came down a bit hard/awkward on my right foot. I have been dealing with minor issues with that ankle for 20 + years which the doctors say is probably due to a break that wasn't caught when I was stationed in Honduras during my military days so I am not worried about it. However as a result of that Bob decided that I should take today off and hit it again Friday. When I first saw Bob's message to take the day off I immediately thought I didn't want/ need to take the day off as I didn't want to affect my training in any way but my wife was able to talk me off the ledge and I acquiesced. 

This morning after yoga (something I must admit I am enjoying) I asked  Bob if I could run a little longer tomorrow since I was resting today and he told me no. I have to admit initially I was taken aback. See I was always the guy in high school and college that after practice was over would spend another hour or so taken ground/fly balls or hitting in the cage. Not sure if that was because I felt I needed to do it because I didn't feel I was as naturally talented as the other guy, if I thought that if this much practice made me good than a little more would make me even better, or if I was worried about the guy behind me taking my spot but I was always there doing it. I guess the competitive beast (or as Hannah referred to it, my ego) was alive and well even then. After hearing Bob explain to me that this training program was like a book and that missing a paragraph or a page is nothing to be worried about but missing an entire chapter was another story all together I kind of understood it better. Pushing myself to do more when banged up or even even skipping ahead to a place where I am not ready to be at yet could affect me reaching my ultimate goal. I signed up for this team as I had no idea what I needed to do to get better and achieve all I could and while at times the road may be difficult or hard to understand I am sure when I reach the end of this journey I will fully understand why I was on the path 

As for that competitive beast living inside me, for now his role is to push me to my fullest at whatever the coaches want me to do and nothing more.